A Question of Balls

As I continue to subject myself to 24 hour news stations, I am constantly asking myself two questions. The first question I ask is whether I should grow an elegant grey beard like Wolf Blitzer.

However, more importantly, I am wondering who has a bigger set of balls:

Dick Cheney or Stephen Harper

Of course, I am not actually wondering about the literal size of their testicles you sick bastards. Balls, in this sense, can stand in for a particular kind of courage. I am referring to sheer testicular fortitude. Which man displays the greatest defiance and steadfastness in the face of common sense and overwhelming evidence. This isn't a matter of politics - I'm just wondering who you think has the biggest set of cajones.

I'll present the evidence:

Dick Cheney: In 2000, when Dick Cheney was put in charge of finding a Vice Presidential candidate for George W. Bush he went on an exhaustive search to find one before choosing himself. Cheney, a man who got 5 deferments from the war in Vietnam, once lectured former P.O.W. John McCain on torture. Continues to award no bid contracts in Iraq to Halliburton, a corporation for which he was at one time CEO. Upon being asked about his involvement with Halliburton by Senator Patrick Leahy on the Senate floor he responded with, "Go fuck Yourself." Another illuminating quotation, "My belief is we will, in fact, be greeted as liberators." I could go on but I want to move on to Harper. Oh yeah, he shot an old man in the face and didn't tell anyone about it.

Stephen Harper: In his own words, "You have to remember that west of Winnipeg the ridings the Liberals hold are dominated by people who are either recent Asian immigrants or recent migrants from Eastern Canada; people who live in ghettos and are not integrated into Western Canadian society." Also, he continues to run ads implying that former Liberal minister Ralph Goodale was involved in an income trust leak despite being exhonerated by the RCMP. When asked about this, he said, "I actually believe that Mr. Goodale owes Canadians an apology." Harper raised a media report in Question Period that said a Liberal MP is the son-in-law of a man police allegedly interviewed in connection with the Air India bombing case in 1985 to demonstrate that the Liberals are weak on terror. An MP having a father in law who was a witness to a crime more than 20 years ago apparently means that the entire Liberal party is in bed with Al-Qaeda.

So who has the bigger set of balls. Please leave a comment. I must know.