Need Help Getting Through Exams?

The final exam of my undergraduate degree is tomorrow night from 7-10pm. I've never written an exam that late before so I don't know how my body will react. In order to ensure that I won't fall asleep I've developed a contingency plan should I start to nod off. That plan involves the new Steven Seagal energy drink "Asian Experience." I'm not going to drink it - I'm just going to look at it, laugh my ass off and get back to writing:

Top 3 Girl Talk Remixes

I've never been a fan of the whole mashup genre at least not since everyone with a laptop began to think that they were Danger Mouse. However, the highly touted Girl Talk (nee Greg Gillis) lives up to the hype. His 2006 masterpiece "Night Ripper" is just an amazing work of art executed with mathematical precision. I encourage anyone who thinks the prospect of hearing Biggie rhyme over Elton John's "Tiny Dancer" is appealing to pick it up and dance their confused heart away. The biomedical engineer by day and charismatic DJ by night is also a sought after remix artist. So, I present to you the top three Girl Talk remixes:

Grizzly Bear - The Knife (Girl Talk Remix).mp3

Peter Bjorn and John Lets Call It Off (Girl Talk Remix).mp3

Tokyo Police Club - Cheer It On (Girl Talk Remix).mp3

Don't underestimate the power of the laptop!

GaGaGooGoo

2007 is really shaping up to be a great year for music with a lot of my favourite bands releasing hotly anticipated new records like The Shins, Arcade Fire, Feist, Modest Mouse, The White Stripes, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah and now Spoon. However, Britt Daniel and the boys seem to trying to compete with The White Stripes for the most bizarre album title prize of 2007. Spoon's latest album "GaGaGaGaGa" (yeah... I know) is coming out July 10th and here's a preview of the cover art: How 'bout some old school Spoon:



I Turn My Camera On - Spoon

In Praise of the Unsexy Candidate

I'm just an insignificant Canadian but I don't think it would be an exaggeration to say that the upcoming 2008 U.S. presidential election is going to have global ramifications and determine the direction of virtually every country's foreign policy for years to come. That in mind, the Samurai Buddha is now officially endorsing New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson for the Democratic nomination. The first debate was yesterday and Bill mopped the floor with the media darling candidates; Clinton, Obama, and Edwards. He may not be a sexy candidate but he is the most qualified diplomat in the race. He's low in the polls but now that he's going to enjoy the Samurai Buddha bump. Here are some of his resume highlights:

- Nominated 4 times for the Nobel Peace Prize
- Negotiated the succesful release of U.S. soldiers captured in Iraq (Saddam era), North Korea, and Sudan
- Served as the U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations
- Served as Secretary of Energy during the Clinton administration
- Current Governor of New Mexico

Impressive, no? Check out his campaign videos:

Hard Boiled Gaming

I've been playing Hotel Dusk: Room 215 for the Nintendo DS for the past couple days and its a great little crime story reminiscent of a James Ellroy or Elmore Leonard novel. The visuals are stunning giving the gamer a real film noir quality to the game. In a cool twist, Hotel Dusk requires you to flip the DS on its side and read it like a book which only enhances its pulp fiction quality. You are Kyle Hyde, an ex-cop in the late 1970's, who has switched careers and become a traveling salesman but hasn't given up hope on finding his supposedly dead partner, Bradley. Following his boss' orders, Hyde checks into the seedy Hotel Dusk which is full of mysterious characters all of which seem to have a dark secret from their past. Could this Hotel have something to do with his ex-partner? Answer: Yes. This interactive mystery can get tedious at times while you search the hotel for things to do and some of the tasks that you are supposed to complete are, at times, laughably easy. Ultimately, however, Hotel Dusk: Room 215 is a lengthy but stylish neo-noir mystery that makes excellent use of the touch screen. Also, the main character kind of looks like a badass version of me. Here's the trailer:

You can read a more complete review at Gamespot.

Portrait of the New Century

An African tribeswoman with her Ipod and AK-47.

What an amazing image.

"Globalization was a deep trend pushed by technology and right ideas, as much as anything else"

~Jeffrey Sachs

Born in the 80's

One of my favourite bands out of the 1980's, The Wedding Present, is getting the "Peel Session" treatment in a compilation to be released this week. John Peel, Britain's most legendary radio DJ, was one of the bands most ardent supporters. Since his death in 2004, many of his favourite bands are being anthologized in Box Sets. Although I find it somewhat macabre to provide an extended mixtape to capitalize on someone's death but I'll support anything that gets The Wedding Present out there. However, I suggest you forego the box set and instead pick up a couple of their LPs George Best (1987) and Bizarro (1989). I posted a video to turn you on to the indie heroes of 80's. Of course, I didn't listen to it in the 80's. I was not quite so hip when I was four. Actually, I was probably more hip.

Odds and Ends

I was turned on to Japanese singer/songwriter Gutevolk (aka Hirono Nishiyama) by those venerable champions of all things cool over at Dirty Blue Jeans. Her style is hard to pin down but whatever gumbo she's got cooking is delicious. I'd say it's a mix between electronica and folk - but it's not nearly as bad as that might sound. Her album, Tiny People Singing over the Rainbow, is out right now but I've posted two choice tracks:

Gutevolk-SeedOfSky.mp3
PortableRain-gutevolk.mp3

One band that I seem to have missed in the "best of 2006" blitz of last year may have been the Texas outfit, Midlake. They're endorsed by the Onion, MOJO, and Uncut. I think they're pretty rad but you can decide for yourself, the video for the album opener, "Roscoe," is posted below:

In surprising news, former Phantom Power drummer and movie star Jason Schwartzman is releasing his debut solo album, Nighttimin', very soon on Coconut Records and all indications are that it's not that bad. The first single, "West Coast," written with Incubus guitarist Mike Einziger is actually pretty catchy - you can listen to it at his Myspace page.

Sunday cleaning.

Hot Fuzz = Hot Shit

"Hot Fuzz," directed by Edgar Wright and starring Simon Pegg and Nick Frost is a hilariously enjoyable movie especially for those who enjoy the excitement and excesses of the modern day action movie. This film is from the same people who brought us the surprise cult hit "Shaun of the Dead," one of my favourites. "Hot Fuzz" has the same jocular tone as "Shaun of the Dead" as well as the same commitment to cinematic allusions. Pegg and Wright do to action movies in "Hot Fuzz" what they did to Zombie movies in "Shaun of the Dead." However, they do not condescend to the genre. It is obvious that this parody of the buddy action movie genre was written by two guys who legitimately love action movies.

The plot itself centres on a hypercompetent London police officer, Nicholas Angel, who is beginning to make his colleagues look bad so he gets a backhanded "promotion" and is relocated to the sleepy little town of Sandford. Of course, Angel soon realizes that there is more to Sandford than meets the eye (namely: a serial killer). This movie features some very surprising and entertaining cameos. I strongly suggest you check this one out especially if you enjoyed "Shaun of the Dead" (out on DVD) and especially if you spent your adolescence devouring action movies.

Here's the trailer for "Hot Fuzz"


and "Shaun of the Dead"

Are Maximo Park fans of Tolstoy or Chekov?

English post-punk revivalists (in the vein of The Futureheads and Franz Ferdinand) Maximo Park are releasing a follow-up to their infectious debut album A Certain Trigger (2005). Our Earthly Pleasures came out April 2nd in the UK and if you look hard you can find it in North America on May 8th. I've posted the first single, "Russian Literature." I'm not sure how I feel about it yet - my favourite remains "Apply Some Presssure" off of their debut.

MaximoPark-RussianLiterature.mp3

Bonus: The music video for my favourite MP song, "Apply some Pressure," from "A Certain Trigger" and my all time favourite mix CD:

A picture is worth a thousand letters?

I was forwarded this cool website that allows you to submit a photo and it will convert it into letters or number for you. It's a little hard to use at first but once you get the hang of the program it can be pretty fun. You can even generate HTML to post on your homepage but it's not getting along with blogger right so I've posted a link to the picture of me in symbols down below. Those of you who know me - let me know if you think the code "me" looks like the real me. I don't think so.

You can check out the the Typorganism website here.

Friends, you can see the pic of me here. Let me know what you think.

Expect a review of Hot Fuzz tomorrow. (Spoiler alert: it's awesome!)

Here's a pic of what I look like in real life.

Swedish Hard RAWK!

One of my favourite bands of the past few years is Dungen, a hard rock outift out of Stockholm, Sweden. Their name (pronounced Doon-Yen) means "the grove" in Swedish but don't let that tame name fool you, they're as Zeppelinesque as they come - but in Swedish. They are fronted by Gustav Ejstes, who writes all the music and plays all the instruments on the bands first three albums, the best of which being 2004's "Ta Det Lugnt." They have a new album coming out in May called Tio Bitar and I strongly suggest you have a listen. Here are some preview tracks from the upcoming album:

Dungen-Familj.mp3
Dungen-GorDetNu.mp3

Bonus: Here's the video for my favourite Dungen song, "Panda."




Enjoy!

A Serious Threat from the Joker!

Most people know that Heath Ledger will be playing Batman's achvillain, the Joker, in the upcoming movie, "The Dark Knight." However, I wonder if director Christopher Nolan will find a way to work this Joker gem from an old comic book into the new movie:

What? You had to expect juvenile humour at some point, right? It can't be cool music and political debate all the time...

I'm Sorry.

Will Ferrell traumatizes daughter...

It seems that Will Ferrell and Adam Mckay have grown weary of producing multi-million dollar comedies and have instead moved to the less than lucrative world of internet videos. Watch this sketch that surfaced on Funny or Die yesterday featuring the pair (click on the link - I can't post it because it's been taken off of YouTube).

The sketch itself is pretty funny but apparently the little girl in the sketch is Ferrell's actual daughter. I love Ferrell, I could listen to him read the phonebook, but I imagine having him as a father would be hard enough without him casting you as a profane landlord in his afro'd internet sketches.

Things I Own...

Over the weekend I was fortunate to receive my graduation present a little early in the form of a Nikon L12 digital camera. I couldn't be happier with it. I would definitely recommend it to anyone looking for a relatively affordable starter digital camera for taking casual pics. You can read a review of the camera at the Let's Go Digital website.

On a completely unrelated note, I also recently acquired another cool little trinket. Who among us hasn't wondered aloud why there are no action figures commemorating our past prime ministers. Well, the folks at Canadian Legends finally took us up on the offer. So, without further adue, I present to you my very own action figure of Canada's first PM John A. Macdonald:

Cool, eh? And yes, I took it with my new camera.

Stoned Slackers beat out Fox Neocons yet again...

In a report that I'm sure will come as a shock to absolutely no one. The people Bill O'Reilly once called "stoned slackers " are actually more knowledgable about current affairs than his viewers over at Fox News. How is that tool going to spin this over at the "no-spin zone." It's official, according to a Pew Research Centre study 54 percent of Daily Show watchers got two out of three world affairs questions correct, while only 33 percent of Fox News viewers managed the same. Ouch, Fox outfoxed yet again.

The Simpsons rip into Fox News


And in this clip, O'Reilly and Geraldo get into an enormous yelling match, Only Bill O'Reilly could make me agree with Geraldo Rivera on anything.


In the immortal words of Snoop Dogg, "Fuck Bill O'Reilly"

New Feist!

Leslie Feist, Canada's Mushaboomiest songtress, is back with a new song and video for her forthcoming album, The Reminder. The first single off of The Reminder is "1 2 3 4" and I've posted the video below. Feist discussed this video and her upcoming album in a recent New York Times article. I like the song a lot but the video reminds me of something that may have been put together by some ESA students during lunchtime (west-end Torontonians wil get that joke):

UPDATE!!! Hot off the heels of the one take wonder above, Ms. Feist has graced the world with another great video for another song, "My Moon, My Man." Check it out:

What do you think of the new Feist?

Clap Your Hands!

I went to the Clap Your Hands Say Yeah/Elvis Perkins show last night at the Kool Haus and was quite impressed. I wasn't sure if lead singer Alec Ounsworth would be able to pull off the nasally drawl singing that permeates the bands two great albums but he sure surprised me by singing his little heart out. The crowd was definitely more into the first album tracks than songs off their sophomore release, "Some Loud Thunder," with the exception of "Satan Said Dance" to which the diverse crowd of hipsters and drunk for-the-first-time 16 year olds bopped along with religious fervour. Overall, I thought CYHSY brought the groovy goods and I was sent home happy with a new appreciation for the second album.

Elvis Perkins in Dearland opened for Clap Your Hands I have been telling everyone about this singer/songwriter since I heard his album, "Ash Wednesday," which is absolutely beautiful. His songs cut to your core like a good joke or a sad movie. He very impressive live and played my two favourite songs, "While You Were Sleeping" and "Emil's Vietnam in the Sky." This guy deserves to get big so pick up "Ash Wednesday."



A hilarious video for "Is this love?" apparently rejected by the band...



A live version of "Emil's Vietnam in the Sky."

Found: Cool Website Alert!

Found magazine is the brainchild of Davy Rothbart and Jason Bitner. They collect notes, pictures, or anything "found" on the street and have been publishing them in their zine since 2004. It is an endless source of fun and frivolity. You can check out some great examples at their website: http://www.foundmagazine.com/

Here are a few of my favourites:


I guess Amber doesn't hate Mario that much after all...


I can't believe this guy has a girlfriend.

A simple request, really...

I like this one because if you look in the top left corner, it says it was sent by the University of Toronto. The same fine institution from which I am about to graduate.

Love it!

Who likes Ukeleles?

Have you ever wanted to hear Nirvana's "Smells like Teen Spirit" performed by The Ukelele Orchestra of Great Britain? Your wish is my command:



The video is a bit of an oldie but it's a classic. I'll never look at a ukelele the same way again.

National Treasure

My Dad recently got Neil Young's latest album Live from Massey Hall so naturally I added it to my mp3 player. I listened to it for the first time yesterday before an English test and I was struck by how raw, spare and beautiful it was. It's really just Neil and his guitar or piano for 10 songs. The classics are great like "Cowgirl in the Sand," "Old Man" and "Don't Let it Bring You Down" but the lesser known album tracks are equally stunning. The most amazing parts of the concert, which took place in 1971 at Massey Hall, is hearing Neil work through songs that would become classics. My favourite moment was during the heartbreaking ballad "A Man Needs a Maid" when Neil spontaneously breaks into the yet to be released "Heart of Gold." The audience's reaction to hearing my favourite Neil Young song for the first time reminded me of the first time I heard it and all felt right between me, my headphones, Neil, and the audience members of Massey Hall 36 years ago.



Here's a great video of "Heart of Gold" from the 2005 Neil Young concert film directed by Jonathan Demme.

Kurt Vonnegut (1922–2007)

"Here we are, trapped in the amber of the moment. There is no why."

"I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center."

Comics! Comics! Comics!

A few years ago, I wrote an article for Access (the Ontario Library Association Magazine) about the ten graphic novels that every library should have. You can read the article on the OLA website (go to page 52). However, I've thought that I left a few deserving titles off the list. Therefore, to assuage my nerd guilt, I decided to post two new lists that I feel represent the best of the genre. I've divided the list between Superhero and Non-Superhero books: Superhero:

1. The Watchmen by Alan Moore: Simply the best. The only graphic novel to be included on Time's 100 Greatest Novels list. The Watchmen is one of my favourite books, let alone comic books, period.
2. Batman: The Dark Knight Returns by Frank Miller
3. Batman: The Long Halloween by Jeph Loeb
4. Arkham Asylum by Grant Morrison
5. V for Vendetta by Alan Moore - V is every bit as much of a Superhero as Batman
6. Batman: Hush by Jeph Loeb
7. Batman: The Killing Joke by Alan Moore
8. Kingdom Come by Marc Waid
9. The Death of Superman
10. Batman: Year One by Frank Miller

I know I'm heavy on the Batman but he's just the best.

Non Superhero:

1. It's a Good Life, If you don't Weaken by Seth
2. Maus by Art Spiegelman
3. Jimmy Corrigan: Smartest Kid on Earth by Chris Ware
4. I Never Liked You by Chester Brown
5. Ghost World by Daniel Clowes
6. The Golem's Mighty Swing by James Sturm
7. Louis Riel by Chester Brown
8. Blankets by Craig Thompson
9. From Hell by Alan Moore
10. Sin City: The Long Goodbye by Frank Miller

I also recommend Scott Mcloud's Understanding Comics: The Invisible Art if you're just getting started.

There, I feel vindicated now. Finally I can sleep again.

Remember When Lollapalooza Mattered?

Ladies and Gentlemen, the lineup for the 2007 Lollapalooza Music Festival (one day before it is officially realeased):

Pearl Jam, Daft Punk, Ben Harper, Muse, Iggy & The Stooges, Modest Mouse, Interpol, My Morning Jacket, Satellite Party, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Snow Patrol, The Roots, Patti Smith, Kings Of Leon, The Black Keys, Regina Spektor, Spoon, Lupe Fiasco, TV On The Radio, Pete Yorn, G. Love, Paolo Nutini, Amy Winehouse, LCD Soundsystem, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Silverchair, Femi Kuti, Yo La Tengo, Hold Steady, Jack's Mannequin, Stephen Marley, STS9, MIA, Slightly Stoopid, Blonde Redhead, Sparklehorse, Sean Lennon, !!!, Blue October, Son Volt, Motion City Soundtrack, Polyphonic Spree, Peter Bjorn & John, Silversun Pickups, CSS, The Rapture, The Wailers, Roky Erickson, Tapes N Tapes, Heartless Bastards, The View, The Cribs, The Fratellis, Ghostland Observatory, Tokyo Police Club, Rhymefest, Soulive, Cold War Kids, Annuals, Fields, Electric Six, Jim Noir, Elvis Perkins, Sam Roberts, Black Angels, Charlie Musselwhite, Aqueduct, Juliette & The Licks, Dios, Viva Voce, David Vandervelde, Los Campesinos!, Chin Up Chin Up, Ryan Shaw, Colour Revolt, Satin Peaches, Illinois, Arckid, Mickey Avalon, The 1900s, Bang Bang Bang, Bound Stems, High Class Elite Carey, Ott, Matt Roan

I would only be interested in seeing exactly ten of these bands: Spoon, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Peter Bjorn and John, The Hold Steady, Tokyo Police Club, TV on the Radio, Modest Mouse, Interpol, Elvis Perkins and My Morning Jacket. I'll tell you one act I wouldn't miss at Lollapalooza - The Iron Stomach Homer Simpsons:

Jack and Meg White Attacked with Bedazzler!

I've always had a soft spot for the White Stripes. I even tolerated Jack's fashion switch from all red, black, and white outifts to sombreros and mariachi pants. However, I'm not sure what to think about their just released cover art for their upcoming album, Icky Thump:

Jack's jacket must weigh a ton.

Here's some classic Stripes for y'all, ("Your Pretty Good Looking" live in 1999) :

Escaping the fortress of solitude...

The A.V. Club recently did a really cool interview with one of my favourite authors, Macarthur Genius Grant recipient Jonathan Lethem. He's written what I consider to be two truly astounding novels that should be required reading for anyone trying live in the twenty-first century, Motherless Brooklyn and The Fortress of Solitude. My favourite novel of his so far is The Fortress of Solitude which came out in 2003. It tells the story of Dylan Ebdus growing up in 1970's Brooklyn and follows him as well as his black best friend, Mingus Rude, through the 80's and 90's. His newest novel, You Don't Love Me Yet, is also very enjoyable but far less ambitious. One could hardly blame Lethem for writing a stopover EP after an epic double album like The Fortress of Solitude. You can read the interview here:

http://www.avclub.com/content/interview/jonathan_lethem

Nothing I love more than ironic posturing

Ever since rap came upon the music scene in the 1980's, there have been white indie rock kids to cover those songs with acousic guitars. Ironic covers are a time honored tradition of the rock snob. In that spirit, I present to you my list of the top three ironic rap covers:

1) A Classic: Dynamite Hack's cover of N.W.A.'s Boyz in tha Hood.
The video is priceless:



2) The Vines do Ms. Jackson by Outkast (I love this one):

TheVines-MsJacksoncover.mp3

3) Here's a new one: Up and coming singer/songwriter Jenny Owen Youngs does Nelly's Hot in Herre, ("Good gracious, Ass Bodacious") :



You can listen to a cleared up version of the song at Jenny's myspace page. I suggest you do.

God bless you indie rockers for continuing the tradition of stealing from your more talented African American counterparts. Worked for Elvis.

Peter Bjorn and John = Swedish Joy

I'm really digging this band from Sweden right now, Peter Bjorn and John. They've been around for awhile and some of you have probably heard of them but their newest album, Writer's Block, is really catchy and brings me a great deal of Swedish joy.

Please watch.

Finally! A Sandal I can get Behind...

I present to you: The Flask Sandal. Booze just tastes better out of your shoe.

Happy Easter!!!

If the Easter Bunny missed your house - I think I know why...

Heat Vision and Jack

What if there was a TV show starring Jack Black as an Astronaut who gained knowledge through exposure to the sun? What if that same show featured Owen Wilson as the voice of a slacker motorcycle? What if the very same show was directed by Ben Stiller? That show would be called "Heat Vision and Jack" and it would be awesome. However, it was also never picked up by FOX, surprise surprise. Thanks to YouTube, you can watch the hilariously funny pilot anyway:

Enjoy the chaos.

When local news goes beautifully right...

Anyone who knows me is aware that there's nothing I hate more than local news. I especially hate those CTV ads with the anchors talking about their lives. Hey CTV, nobody cares! However, sometimes local news justifies its existence like the following clip featuring Tracy Morgan (30 Rock, SNL) on an El Paso station. It's hilarious, you must watch:

My favourite lines:

"Somebody's gonna get pregnant!"

"I'm James T. Kirk and I went to Vee-Yet-Nam"

"I gotta get those wheelchair gloves"

Absolutely brilliant.

Also, watch 30 Rock if you're not. You won't be disappointed.

Yo! Levar Burton Battle Tony Parker

This week, San Antonio Spurs point guard Tony Parker released his debut French hip hop album. As to be expected, this was about as wise a move as marrying Eva Longoria. It is quite terrible. I'm not joking, it's sub-Federline, please take a listen for yourself:

I'm not any kind of rap or hip hop expert but my God! However, it does have a rival for worst rapping by a non-rapper I have ever seen. Like me, I'm sure your childhood was shaped by Reading Rainbow hosted by the legendary Levar Burton but I must have missed this episode:

Levar Burton may be a lot of things, Geordie Laforge of Star Trek:TNG, Kunta Kinte of Roots, and a brilliant children's television host but he is not a hype emcee by any means. What the hell is rag basketball?

So, who wins this battle of the rap heavyweights?

The End of the World?

A Simple Equation:

American Idol + Ford + Modest Mouse = Me slamming my head into the wall

Take a look for yourself:

Looking for truthiness?

As a university student, I'm not at all ashamed to admit that I have on more than one occasion used Wikipedia. Everyone knows that its not the best source but its useful when you need to know something quick. For instance, if you needed to know that in Estonia, Prime Minister Andrus Ansip's Reform Party won a plurality in the parliamentary elections yesterday you could (Hi Eric!). However, when I use Wikipedia I've often felt that they have an obvious leftist bias. It's clear that Wikipedia is controlled by the overarching liberal elite - any idiot can see that. That's why I was so glad to be directed by The Onion's A.V. Club to "Conservapedia."That's right, Wikipedia for conservatives. Check it out:

http://www.conservapedia.com/

Here are my favourite entries:

Fox News:Fox News was started in 1996 in response to the other cable news channels which all had obvious liberal biases. Because of this, Rupert Murdoch decided to start a real new channel which would tell the truth. The success of Fox news over every other news channel is because it is fair and balanced. It has many people on it who work to spread truth such as Sean Hannity who is a great American. Fox News is best because instead of just telling you what to think, they only report the news unbiased and then allow the viewer to decide.

Ronald Reagan:

Ronald Wilson Reagan (February 6, 1911- June 5, 2004) was the fortieth President of the United States from 1981 to 1989, following Democrat Jimmy Carter and preceding Republican George H. W. Bush. Considered by many to be the greatest American President, Ronald Reagan's greatest accomplishments include leading America peacefully through the Cold War, lowering taxes, promoting a free economy, and staunchly opposing socialism and communism, and ending the Cold War in victory for the United States. Reagan was strongly opposed to the concept of Big government, advocating a reduction in the size and budget of the federal government, although during his terms in office the government size and budget both increased rather than decreasing due to tax-and-spend Democrats.

Also, check what they consider to be examples of liberal bias in Wikipedia:http://www.conservapedia.com/Examples_of_Bias_in_Wikipedia

God bless these guys.

A Question of Balls

As I continue to subject myself to 24 hour news stations, I am constantly asking myself two questions. The first question I ask is whether I should grow an elegant grey beard like Wolf Blitzer.

However, more importantly, I am wondering who has a bigger set of balls:

Dick Cheney or Stephen Harper

Of course, I am not actually wondering about the literal size of their testicles you sick bastards. Balls, in this sense, can stand in for a particular kind of courage. I am referring to sheer testicular fortitude. Which man displays the greatest defiance and steadfastness in the face of common sense and overwhelming evidence. This isn't a matter of politics - I'm just wondering who you think has the biggest set of cajones.

I'll present the evidence:

Dick Cheney: In 2000, when Dick Cheney was put in charge of finding a Vice Presidential candidate for George W. Bush he went on an exhaustive search to find one before choosing himself. Cheney, a man who got 5 deferments from the war in Vietnam, once lectured former P.O.W. John McCain on torture. Continues to award no bid contracts in Iraq to Halliburton, a corporation for which he was at one time CEO. Upon being asked about his involvement with Halliburton by Senator Patrick Leahy on the Senate floor he responded with, "Go fuck Yourself." Another illuminating quotation, "My belief is we will, in fact, be greeted as liberators." I could go on but I want to move on to Harper. Oh yeah, he shot an old man in the face and didn't tell anyone about it.

Stephen Harper: In his own words, "You have to remember that west of Winnipeg the ridings the Liberals hold are dominated by people who are either recent Asian immigrants or recent migrants from Eastern Canada; people who live in ghettos and are not integrated into Western Canadian society." Also, he continues to run ads implying that former Liberal minister Ralph Goodale was involved in an income trust leak despite being exhonerated by the RCMP. When asked about this, he said, "I actually believe that Mr. Goodale owes Canadians an apology." Harper raised a media report in Question Period that said a Liberal MP is the son-in-law of a man police allegedly interviewed in connection with the Air India bombing case in 1985 to demonstrate that the Liberals are weak on terror. An MP having a father in law who was a witness to a crime more than 20 years ago apparently means that the entire Liberal party is in bed with Al-Qaeda.

So who has the bigger set of balls. Please leave a comment. I must know.

Is it too late for an end of year list?

Hey everybody,

Here's my much delayed list for the best movies, albums, and songs of 2006. If you disagree... you're wrong.

Top Ten Movies of the Year:

1) Brick

2) Children of Men

3) The Departed

4) The Fountain

5) The Queen

6) Thank You For Smoking

7) Casino Royale

8) Little Miss Sunshine

9) Idiocracy

10) Why We Fight

Guilty Pleasure: Miami Vice

Worst of the Year: The Black Dahlia

Also good: Stranger Than Fiction, Letters from Iwo Jima, Borat, Tristam Shandy

Best Performances: Sacha Baron Cohen (Borat), Leonardo Dicaprio (The Departed), Helen Mirren (The Queen)

Movies I haven’t seen but are probably good: Little Children, United 93, Half Nelson, Pan’s Labyrinth, The Prestige

Top Five Albums of the Year:

1) TV on the Radio: Return to Cookie Mountain

2) Band of Horses: Everything all the Time

3) Belle and Sebastian: The Life Pursuit

4) Cat Power: The Greatest

5) The Hold Steady: Boys and Girls in America

Top Ten Songs of the Year:

1) The Funeral: Band of Horses (Probably one of the Best songs ever written)

2) Nature of the Experiment: Tokyo Public Club

3) Felt Tip: Love is All

4) Smile: Lily Allen

5) Promiscuous: Nelly Furtado

6) ABC 123 XYZ: The Pipettes

7) What You Know: T.I.

8) Wolf Like Me: TV on the Radio

9) We’re in this Together: Ben Lee

10) Free Radicals: Flaming Lips

Other Good Songs: Steady as she Goes (Raconteurs), When the Sun Goes Down (Arctic Monkeys), When You Were Young (The Killers), The Greatest (Cat Power),

Songs I really want out of my head: Crazy (Gnarlz Barkley), That Grey’s Anatomy Song by the Fray.